Sunday, June 18, 2017

on feeling lonely and being okay with it ((even if you're not))

me, january 2017, selasar sunaryo bandung, picture taken by tania

I remember during one of my visual communication design class back in university, we were having this personal branding project. As part of the brainstorming, we were asked to find some keywords to represent ourselves. 

I remember coming up with words like creative and positive ((thinker)). Since it was kind of an open discussion, my lecturer threw the question to my classmates and asked them how they would describe me.

I remember the only foreigner in our class, who I was not even close with, come up with the word, 'strong' which my lecturer quickly agreed on. 

I remember being so surprised, because for one, he is not a very good English speaker. I thought he was going to say some general adjectives like nice or kind or good. But to have him come up with the term 'strong', truly surprised me. Two, we were not even that close because of the language barrier. But, he seemed to even understand his classmates and surroundings which made me so touched. Three, I could not even think of that word on that time. I did not want to sound like I am boasting or what. I knew I am a tough cookie, but it just did not got into my brain until someone actually mentioned it to me. 

Friends and acquaintances have told me how I am strong, and independent, and such and such. Well, I am, most of the time. But, I also had my down. There were also times when I just could not stand that strong, when the wind blown me away, pushing me from where I stood, leaving me down on the ground. 

With my situation right now, honestly, it is so easy for me to get lonely. And when I am lonely, I ended up having unnecessary thoughts. And when I have those unimportant thoughts, I became gloomy.

Of course I do have my brother and my friends who would accompany me from time to time. But they were also living their own lives, and they were not always available for me every time I needed them. 

Sometimes, I felt so pathetic for feeling this way. I mean, I am totally okay with my being right now. I am totally okay by myself. But, there would be times when you let down your guard and became vulnerable. I knew that things were okay, but I did not know it could hurt too, sometimes.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Happy 9th Anniversary, SHINee!

This year, we are celebrating the 9 beautiful years of Onew, Jonghyun, Minho, Key and Taemin as SHINee. At one point, I just can't believe that they have reached the age of 9. But at the same time, I realize I have also been hanging out with my junior high friends for almost 11 years already. I remembered being in the second grade of junior high and I was fangirling over SHINee's "Love Like Oxygen" with a couple of my friends. I am not exaggerating when I said that I literally grew up with SHINee. 

Just like the previous years, I would like to send out my birthday greetings and wishes for the five men who have made my life more colorful. First of all, I am so so proud of SHINee who still stand tall with the original members. No member change, no one leaves, and I truly madly deeply hope that this will last for forever.

I definitely have to thank SM Entertainment for giving each one of them the chance to shine as an individual artist as well as the creativity to mature as a group. For some people, if you watched their interviews or their appearance in the variety shows, you might think that their relationship or very business-y. But I also like to think that it was one of the reasons they can stay together for so long.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Intermezzo // 10 - Bits and Pieces

I have not been writing long posts for sooo long that I feel like my hands are getting a bit rusty. In fact, I might be getting a little bit used to writing shorter texts for Instagram caption ((for my job, fyi)). I even broke my record of writing captions for 75 Instagram posts in one working day ((plus two hours)) since I wanted to take my leave.

Ha, I am also afraid if I lose my sense of writing coherently. I did not want to fall down into a writing block and I honestly have so many things I want to talk write about that I did not know which one should go up first, ha! 

So, here are a couple of life updates while I'm at it, which will also serve as a reminder when I forgot about what I should write.

1. I went to Singapore mainly for Coldplay's concert in the end of March, but ended up falling in love way too much with the ArtScience Museum. I have been brainstorming and planning to break the blog posts into *cough* eight *cough* posts. I know, I know, it sounded so ambitious, but there are so many things I want to talk about from my trip! Hehe, I don't think I can condense it into just one or two posts. 

2. Oh, also, before I went to Singapore, I dyed my hair the colors of rainbow. It was crazy but it was fun. And speaking of, I have not even written about my first hair dye experience. In the meantime, my hair has been faded into random ugly color and I am seriously consider buying the April Skin Turn Up Color Treatment because of this girl on #3

3. Joan Kim! I love her! I watched her vlog almost everyday. I love her vlog style, her personality and her voice. And she honestly inspired me to try out vlog-ing, but I gotta gather up some courage...and...diligence first. It's so inspiring that she can publish a vlog everyday without a miss even during her travel!

4. I previously blogged about the Big Bad Wolf 2016. I went again into the most recent one. And I have been putting it in my draft way too long.

5. I promised to talk about the letters I sent out in the beginning of this year. Some of the letters arrived safely, some others, were lost somewhere over the rainbow ((nope, not my hair)). So, yeah, we'll see.

6. Also, 52 FACE! AAAK! I am still doing it and only skipped one week out of all the weeks so far. But I feel like I am not exploring more yet. Also, I did some easier one like photo journals for most of the weeks. I wanted to do more digital design instead of traditional craft style. I liked them both, but I feel like I need to practice my design again.

7. I feel like I wanted to do a post about money talk. It is a sensitive issue for some, but I wanted to share about my view and my way of managing my financial. Also, I had this really bad habit when it comes to buying stuffs. Not bad bad, but bad good. Ha! You'll see what I mean later.

8. I went to Bandung twice already this year and did not manage to write any of it yet. Not that I did last year. I actually went there many times, but I feel like I never talked about it here. Ha! Maybe, later. Later when?!!

9. There are lots of good music and good movies lately. I really love the songs from PSY and IU's new album. I also really like K.A.R.D and Dean's latest release. For movies, I enjoyed watching "Guardians of the Galaxy" and just watch "Pirates of the Caribbean" two days ago.

10. I went for a picnic in a park near my house area and it was so much fun! Here in Jakarta people tend to go to malls whenever they hangout. So I wanted something fresh and, off the park we go!

11. Did I mention that I like board game? There is this board game cafe in Serpong called The Bunker. My junior high friends and I ((we call ourselves DTIF)) went there for the second time and it did not disappoint! There are so many games to choose from and they have Game Master to explain the rules for us. Whenever we started playing, then we got sucked into the game, no phone, no taking picture, just playing and lots of laughs. Our favorite is Gobbit! It's super fun!

12. SHINee is celebrating their 9th anniversary! Just like last year, I am making a post dedicated to them and I think this one will be up sooner since I did not have to edit any pictures.

13. A couple of days ago, I was reading Design Mom in which she recommended a couple of magazines. I fell in love with this one called Lunch Lady. O-MG, I love the design and the photographs. If only I can read the content inside. Speaking of which, Mag Culture did a (p)review and I just fell in love with the wit writing ((pictured above)). Also, this makes me wanted to create, design, publish and sell my own magazine.

14. I am really torn in between buying my dream laptop or traveling to my dream country. I have been saving money and I can only afford either one. I need the laptop so I can be more productive. My laptop right now is really, really, very slow right now. I can partly blame my laziness on it, hehe. But, I also really want to travel to this country because I have set my heart into it for so so long. Which one do you think should I pick? T-T

15. Last but not least, I am in the middle of a very exciting project with my two college friends. We have been planning for this for about a month and it should be launched anytime soon. We started small but we are hoping that this can become a fun and rewarding side project.

Featured photo by Mag Culture

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Big Bad Wolf Jakarta 2016 and Tips for the Upcoming BBW

These days and the days ahead, we are getting lots of break here in Indonesia. Especially with the public holiday falling every other day of the week, I can't help but feel some sort of excitement. While I am not the best in coming up with a good plan to spend my holiday...and honestly, even if I do come up with a plan, I am also not the best in committing with the so-called plan. Ha!

My biggest mission during these holiday is of course to update my blog. Haha, how many times have I said that? But, as you have read in paragraph one, I am not the best in keeping up with my plan. It has come to the point where I felt like my hands have become too rusty to type as fast as I used to. And my brain has probably messed up some grammar and vocabulary so things might not be that coherent, lol.

But if anything, I am the laziest when it comes to selecting and editing pictures. Argh, whenever I am selecting pictures, I always ended up reminiscing the moments and being nostalgic. Editing the pictures is a pain because I can not seem to get the color in my mind right and I can not seem to keep all the photos in one theme. Blah! But, NO, they are not going to stop me from writing ((fire!!!))

That's why, while I have a handful of times in my pocket, why not write about the long overdue post? Yep, this should explain if by any time in the future, you saw lots of throwback posts. I can write whatever I want, yes? 

Enough for the rant. Haha.

As the buzz of Big Bad Wolf 2017 going around my social media radar, I can't help but reminiscent about the crazy time when I went there. I didn't get to write about that experience on the blog but it was definitely one that I can't easily forget.

Wednesday, April 05, 2017

Intermezzo // 09 - Art and Design Stuffs

Hello again everyone! 

I apologize for the lack of updates here. Just like that, a month has passed by and it's now April. Whoa! I know I said this a lot but I have been quite busy last month. On the first two weekends, I helped assist the event hosted by Living Loving. Then on the third and last weekends, I went on two different trips. One to Taman Safari Bogor with my colleagues and the other to Singapore with my brother. Oh, I also dyed my hair.

I will totally rant and ramble so much about Singapore later. I was so inspired! In fact, there are so many things that I want to talk about in regards to this country. From the food I ate, things I did, roads I took, oh, and of course, the concert I watched. I am going to give you some sneak peek here. But I will get back to you with the full version asap, hopefully by this weekend. 

As for now, I will leave you with a couple of links related to art and design. I knew some of the stuffs below from my friends, so, thank you guys! Here you go:

1. My friend introduced me to this guy called Van Schneider who happened to be a former product designer for Spotify. I have been reading his site ever since. I love reading his point of view as a designer who also writes.

2. I just knew this blog called Swiss Miss and she is the founder of Creative Mornings, also, Tattly. How awesome!

3. Reading about the problems you never knew existed make me smile.

4. This reading about material design principle is dropped into the office group chat but I have not yet able to read it thoroughly.

5. Have you seen the new hair trend? Lol, really, not really, I was just showing off my rainbow hair, hehe.

6. Which is partially inspired by A Head Full of Dreams - Coldplay newest album. I really loved the album art direction and visual so I looked up on the internet and found this interview with Pilar Zeta, the amazing creator behind the artworks.

7. And you can also make your own version of your "A Head Full of Dreams".

8. I have been reading the Fast Company site every now and then. But it is only recently that I knew about Fast Co Design site.

9. I went to an exhibition in Singapore and got emotionally mesmerized with the beautiful creation made by Team Lab.

10. Have you tried transforming your handwriting into a font that you can actually use? My friend introduced me to My Script Font. But I have not tried it yet.

Well, there it is for the Intermezzo this time.I have been saving these links for quite some time so I can compile and share it here. Also, if you are wondering, yes, I am still on track with my 52 FACE, yay! I can't promise yet on when I will update and write about the project, especially since I am still super excited with the fresh Singapore trip. Hah, but hopefully, ((ahem)) soon.


Photo from Oh Happy Day

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Staying is Hard, But You Can Stay Positive

Talk about the expert of submitting a project on the due date ((even a few hours late...)). Oh yay, I am talking about myself, lol. I know, I know, not something that I should be proud of. So, what project? It's called The Blog Project, the one that I have talked about in my previous post.

I first knew about this project from Living Loving, a blog that I have long adored and got a chance to work with previously. They launched this project together with Lucedale and Beradadisini, both blogs that I have equally loved. 

I have been a long time follower of Claradevi though. From her longer hair days with vintage flowery clothing with the blog named under Sunflare Plethora. Even though her style has evolved over the years, but her writing is still as beautiful as ever. On the other hand, for Beradadisini, honestly I just knew her blog for a few months. But man, why didn't I know it sooner? Her words are amaaaaziiiing and her tips on writing is always inspiring. 

So, back to the project, I was super duper excited! Why wouldn't I? I mean, it is a great motivation to at least write once a month. With this project, I might be able to connect with fellow bloggers who are like-minded. I also got to challenge myself to write about a specific topic, which is supposed to be easier.

But, it turns out not to be that easy.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Intermezzo // 08

I have been meaning to kickstart the posts for my ongoing 52 FACE project. But every time I got home, I ended up choosing the other activities instead of editing my photo or typing down the journey of the project.

You know, the temptation of reading other people's blog, watching the latest Asian movie ((I have been watching the Thai ones as of lately)), and especially sleeping, lol. So, today, I took some time in between waiting for the rush hour to end at the office.

I will not be updating the 52 FACE yet, since I obviously need some more time to write on that post. But I will be dropping some links that I have stumbled upon to these days. 

Fun fact: I tend to retweet things on my twitter from mobile for later purpose. I also like to drop some links on a LINE group which comprises of only myself ((lol)). It usually happened when I was in the office and I found some interesting news but the content was lengthy, so I put it there to be read later.

So the stuffs listed below are mostly taken from those findings.

1. Have you been to Quora before? I just signed up for few months now and they usually send me daily newsletter. When I found an interesting question and I have time, I will usually go to the site. Its interesting to read people's response. The most recent that I read is this one.

2. SUPER SUPER EXCITED to join The Blog Project hosted by wonderful ladies whose writing I have equally adored. Gearing up to start writing my first #TBPMonthly, soon.

3. My colleague shared this Design Trend 2017. Not exactly a new trend in 2017 for me because I have been seeing them throughout 2016, honestly. But it's nice to have a little refreshment.

4. I first read the Most Innovative Company from the physical issue of Fast Company. Just few days ago, I stumbled upon the 2017 version. Always interesting to read.

5. DEAN's comeback my friend! As if I have to say more...

6. An interesting read about BuzzFeed and Tasty.

7. These five-episodes article series that I recently wrote and truly loved. It's me and my team's prediction for the Home Trend 2017.

8. Also, dropping the link of this Typography Handbook. I have not finished reading it yet. I have just skimmed through it. But I will get back to it later.

9. I just finished watching the newest music video from KARD! I was not planning to write about them but their MV came out just few minutes ago. Don't Recall is AMAZING! I always love the idea of co-ed group just like how Co-Ed School was.

10. There is a Youtuber who I quite like called Joan Kim, and guess what? She attended the same high school with Matthew from KARD! Whoa!

That's it for now. Did you cast your vote for the future governor yesterday? I did and I am just glad that there was no big fuss, just a little queue. What made me even more glad is of course, the holiday! Ha!

Back to work again today! Ciao!

Thursday, February 02, 2017

52 FACE - A Passion Project by Filicia

Have I told you before that I love December?  I love it for so many reasons. First of all, I love Christmas so much, I love the spirit, the festivity and the joy. It seems like people have this sort of happiness glowing from their faces during this time of the year. With Christmas and New Year Eve, comes the holiday, which is also the reason I love December.

Then, December is the closing month of every year. It is the time for me at least, to reflect on what's been happening on the last 12 months. I looked back on what I have achieved, what I have failed and what I can do better in the future. 

December is a hopeful month. It is the time when I got to think of what I can do in the next one year, think of a resolution, personal goals, projects, and else. Well, there are some people who said that if you want to start something, you can start at anytime. But, there is something special about closing the year and do a new project with a fresh start. It got me more motivated, more spirited and generally more focus.

On my resolution this year, I mentioned about this project called 52 FACE if you did notice. And today, I will be sharing more about this project. The excerpt here is developed from what I wrote in my sacred notebook. Sacred, because this notebook is where I wrote down all my pilot project before I went to another notebook for the planning.

Monday, January 30, 2017

Intermezzo // 07

I am in a coffee shop right now. 

I have just whipped off a bowl of pork donburi while waiting for a friend of mine to arrive here. As I am writing right now, I am secretly hoping that my laptop's battery will not die so soon because their source of electricity is too limited. The place is really nice though. 

Anyhow, here is a quick update before I get into writing the more serious and longer posts later.

1. I am on leave from work for a couple of days from last Thursday up to today. Ah, how nice is it to stay up late, laze around, curl up on the bed, work on personal stuffs and just generally be there for my own self.

2. One of the reasons I took leave was because of the Chinese New Year celebration. I did not really go anywhere though, but I took time to clean up my house slowly ((part of working on my 2017 resolution)), send parcels to family friends and visit my extended family.

3. I finished watching Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo ((pictured above)) and they are the CUTEST thing on dramaland, omg. It has been a while since I finished watching drama and felt so satisfied. I feel like I want to rave about everything about Kim Bok Joo, but alas, I need to write about something else first.

4. I also finished watching Goblin. I have a mixed review towards this drama, It is bearable but I do not like it as much as how it get so hyped.

5. I found out about this Adobe Creative Residency, it's a very amazing program and I really really wish I could join. But for now, they are only open for US, Canada and Germany residence. I wish they would expand to Asia and especially Indonesia in the future. The competition must be very tough I know, but at least it can be a good experience to apply for it.

6. A blog that I have been reading for a long time, A Beautiful Mess, is opening up a job for contributor writer. It is said that applicants can work remotely. But then again, should I or should I not give it a try?

7. I have been playing this game called SuperStar SM Town religiously. Haha! It's a fun music tapping game with music from SM Town artists. They also have this card grading system and special events which made a lot more fun!

8. Have you heard the new album from Akdong Musician? The songs are all adorable, I love them even more now. My favorite from the "Winter" album is the song "Reality", watch the live performance here.

9. Now that I think about it, I have also finished the drama Age of Youth. It is an intriguing drama that showcased the dynamic friendship of girls who were once strangers who turned into roommate. I love how the characters are so different but still complement each other. I also love how the friendship of the girls is more highlighted than the love story.

10.Last but not least, La La Land. I don't know what's wrong with me and hyped stuffs. It might be because I came in the cinema with high expectation, unlike when I came to watch Cek Toko Sebelah. I spent the first half of the movie wondering, which part of this movie that made people get so hyped about it. I knew it was wrong of me to come up with high expectation, but can't help it right, when everyone is talking about it.

I did love the visual though. The colors, the costume, the scenery, they are all soooo awesome. The songs are fitting with the story and Emma Stone, dang, you are one fine actress! But when I was there watching the movie and when the scene hit The End, I was like ??? I swear right there and then, that I can not comprehend how I actually felt about this movie. It is a good-to-watch movie especially with the beautiful visuals, but other than that, I am not very sure.

That's it for the Intermezzo. This somehow ended up as the compilation of movies, dramas, and stuffs that I have enjoyed as of lately. But that's the point of Intermezzo, isn't it? Haha.

'Til next time! 

Wednesday, January 18, 2017



I just feel like
Walking straight to your seat

and say
things like

"I think you are attractive
and I am interested in you
Let's hang out often"

But then again

Chances are

I will never do it in real life

You will only stare blankly
and I will turn my back
as soon as possible

That's why

Let's see
how long
can I survive


how long
will you realize

Saturday, January 07, 2017

2017 Resolution

I am bit late in responding the questions given to me from this post. Right now I am halfway done and still have another half to be answered. I am planning to finish them all before this month ends and actually sent them to the respective person later. Sorry for the delay.

Some of the questions there are pretty interesting and since I posted that on December, many of them are related to the old & new year stuffs. Writing this resolution out on the internet kinda give these respective people a spoiler. But, can't help it, yes? Sorry again. For some reason I just feel like posting this before the moment faded.

So, here are my 7 RESOLUTIONS FOR 2017

Tuesday, January 03, 2017

"Cek Toko Sebelah" - Sebuah Film yang Memang Pantas untuk Kamu Cek

Kalau biasanya kalian baca soal saya menggila-gila soal drama Korea entah itu di blog ini, Twitter atau Path saya, hari ini saya menggila soal sesuatu yang berbeda. Kali ini saya mau cerita soal film Indonesia.

Sejujurnya, saya adalah tipe orang yang cukup skeptikal kalau masalah film Indonesia. Di satu sisi, ada keinginan untuk mengapresiasi para pegiat film di Indonesia. Tetapi di sisi lain ada kekhawatiran kalau saya akan merasa kecewa, dan sorry to say, merasa rugi sudah buang waktu dan uang untuk menontonnya.

Karena itu, saat kemarin memutuskan film “Cek Toko Sebelah”, saya pun memutuskan untuk tidak berekspektasi terlalu tinggi. Saya sudah membaca beberapa pendapat dari teman-teman yang memang sudah nonton dan mengakui kalau film ini memang bagus dan relatable. Tapi saya pun tetap masih skeptis. Apa iya film-nya bisa memenuhi ekspektasi saya?