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Wednesday, May 04, 2016

thirteen that feels like seventeen



So, in between waiting for the feedback of my design work-in-progress, I decided to watch a couple of the special stage from the 500th episode of Show! Music Core. I started by watching BtoB's performance of "You're the Best" and Mamamoo performing "It's Okay". Yes, they are exchanging songs and that's kind of adorable. I then watched the rookie perform "Growl" and after that UP10TION with the Boy Group Medley.

It is only natural that I clicked into the Girl Group Medley. I am 100% sure that I read the word SEVENTEEN beside the title. But seeing the thumbnail, my mind kind of deceived me to think that the boy there is Ren from Nu'est! That's why when the song started, I was like, what the? who are these people, they are not Nu'est? And then I remembered again that they are SEVENTEEN hahahhaa.

So, I am actually not that super big fan of SEVENTEEN ((yet, because who knows if I change my mind after this)). I do listen to their song like "Mansae" and "Adore U" but that's it. Also, don't ask me which member is which because I certainly can not tell. But I do know Vernon because of his appearance in Show Me the Money.

Anyhow, there are like thirteen of them ((only one more person from original EXO members for comparison)) but the stage looks extremely chaotic - in a funny way. I mean like, their performance are pretty good but they look like super crowded. haha, maybe because they are not singing their own song. Also, oh god, I cringed when they sang "I Scream, You Scream" lol.

Ah, this post should have been posted last week, but I have another job that has to be finished so this post is buried in the draft. I guess that I might as well post this before I forgot.

Monday, April 18, 2016

I just want to



write.
write.
write.
write.
write.
write.
write.
write.
write.
write.

But I can not seem to find the time to write properly yet. So, I guess I can only just ramble here, at least I do not have to worry about this having to be "perfect" or to be accompanied with pictures and whatnot. It's crazy how I feel like I have so much times but I can't seem to finish anything at all.

The moment I rest a bit, it last for a long time. The moment I tried to get things done, time goes by. And the things are not even done yet. I just, duh, it's just that I still can not find the best rhythm for me to work. So for now I can only write my thoughts here and in Instagram.

Also, I am looking forward to play Steller. But my phone can not support it yet. So for now, I'd have to borrow my brother's phone to browse for the stories and to to grasp the "feel" of this newly built community. Maybe if I had got the feel, if my phone had supported, and if my time had allowed me, I will try to jump into Steller. 

I just can't figure out yet how to differentiate what I wrote in blog, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, issuu and then Steller. This apps seem to be a mix of a little bit this and that. I mean like, of course I can post the same thing, but maybe I can try to figure out another way to use this apps and have fun. 

So, how do you use your Steller guys?

Monday, March 21, 2016

things in life that keeps me going


Walk.

It's something that I have been doing since I was very young. I walked everywhere, from my school to home, from bus station to mall, from university to dorm, from places to places. It is something that I enjoy doing even though it can be tiring sometimes when I brought lots of stuffs with me.

Think.

When walking around, it is a bit difficult to do another activity because you have to keep on moving. So I love to observe people around me, I love to think about this and that. From my childhood memories, stuffs that have to be done, my future plans, my to-do list for the day, food that I want to eat, people that I adore, etc.

Yesterday.

I was still busy working on my thesis when I walked from the bus station to a mall I frequently visit. That's when I notice this beautiful sky. And it comes in Rose Quartz and Serenity, two colors that I have been working on. And it may sound silly but my heart instantly felt so light. It is like the universe saying to me that it is supporting me on what I am working and it is helping me to color my ((thesis)) life.

Perspective.

I said this to my friend a few days ago, "It's only a matter of perspective". And it really is. It is the matter of how we see life and how we appreciate every single thing that life offers to us. It is to not take something for granted. I get to wake up everyday. The thinking process happens everyday. I walk everyday. The sky is there everyday. And I am thankful for all that. -

I do not have any intention to write ((type)) a caption this long, but it just sort of happen so, yeah.

- - -

Text written on 2016.03.19
Photo taken on 2016.03.18

Sunday, March 13, 2016

things in life that i do not understand


I'm just so sad and so mad and so done with myself and everything. It saddens me how the pressure is winning on me.

It saddens me when I seek for help from someone else, they do not understand.

It saddens me that when I speak to people, they expect me to be the usual cheerful me.
So, I was like okay, I'm good at play pretend.

I mean like how do you expect me to be the usual cheerful me when I even doubt myself.
Like, do you think my life only has its ups?

Then I realize that if I can not understand myself either, how could I expect people to understand me?

Then I guess the problem is within me myself. I'm just upset that no one seems to understand.

That no one seems to care. No one seem to speak the right thing. No one seem to lend a hand.
Just people expecting me to be okay.


Just people expecting me to be okay.
When I am not.


A collection of tweets during my mental breakdown. March 13th, 2016

things in life that i want to believe

Someday, 
someone will appear in your life 
and he will manage to say the right thing, do the right thing,
and make you fall in love.