Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Thank You, Kim Jonghyun

Hello everyone.
I did not know how to start this post properly. 

Sunday, June 18, 2017

on feeling lonely and being okay with it ((even if you're not))

me, january 2017, selasar sunaryo bandung, picture taken by tania

I remember during one of my visual communication design class back in university, we were having this personal branding project. As part of the brainstorming, we were asked to find some keywords to represent ourselves. 

I remember coming up with words like creative and positive ((thinker)). Since it was kind of an open discussion, my lecturer threw the question to my classmates and asked them how they would describe me.

I remember the only foreigner in our class, who I was not even close with, come up with the word, 'strong' which my lecturer quickly agreed on. 

I remember being so surprised, because for one, he is not a very good English speaker. I thought he was going to say some general adjectives like nice or kind or good. But to have him come up with the term 'strong', truly surprised me. Two, we were not even that close because of the language barrier. But, he seemed to even understand his classmates and surroundings which made me so touched. Three, I could not even think of that word on that time. I did not want to sound like I am boasting or what. I knew I am a tough cookie, but it just did not got into my brain until someone actually mentioned it to me. 

Friends and acquaintances have told me how I am strong, and independent, and such and such. Well, I am, most of the time. But, I also had my down. There were also times when I just could not stand that strong, when the wind blown me away, pushing me from where I stood, leaving me down on the ground. 

With my situation right now, honestly, it is so easy for me to get lonely. And when I am lonely, I ended up having unnecessary thoughts. And when I have those unimportant thoughts, I became gloomy.

Of course I do have my brother and my friends who would accompany me from time to time. But they were also living their own lives, and they were not always available for me every time I needed them. 

Sometimes, I felt so pathetic for feeling this way. I mean, I am totally okay with my being right now. I am totally okay by myself. But, there would be times when you let down your guard and became vulnerable. I knew that things were okay, but I did not know it could hurt too, sometimes.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Happy 9th Anniversary, SHINee!

This year, we are celebrating the 9 beautiful years of Onew, Jonghyun, Minho, Key and Taemin as SHINee. At one point, I just can't believe that they have reached the age of 9. But at the same time, I realize I have also been hanging out with my junior high friends for almost 11 years already. I remembered being in the second grade of junior high and I was fangirling over SHINee's "Love Like Oxygen" with a couple of my friends. I am not exaggerating when I said that I literally grew up with SHINee. 

Just like the previous years, I would like to send out my birthday greetings and wishes for the five men who have made my life more colorful. First of all, I am so so proud of SHINee who still stand tall with the original members. No member change, no one leaves, and I truly madly deeply hope that this will last for forever.

I definitely have to thank SM Entertainment for giving each one of them the chance to shine as an individual artist as well as the creativity to mature as a group. For some people, if you watched their interviews or their appearance in the variety shows, you might think that their relationship or very business-y. But I also like to think that it was one of the reasons they can stay together for so long.