Saturday, December 31, 2016

on the last day of 2016

Well, today is the day.
The last day of two thousand and sixteen ((can't help it, I just feel like I have to type it out in words instead of numbers)).

Oh well, what can I say about this year? I can't exactly say that the time flies. Because nope, I actually think that this is a long year. 

For me, it is a year of transition.

I mean, look at myself. I was a university student. I was an intern. 
But today, I am graduated. I have my first real job. And I am now a full-time employee. 

Also, look at myself ((again)). My hair was black and long and I have no bangs.
Today it is faded blue with medium length, and it was curled for a brief moment, which I really lov btw.

Apart of that obvious changes. I still see myself as the same person. I am still the same fili who is ever so jayus, quirky, moody, upbeat, annoying, optimistic, somewhat lazy, somewhat serious, and always always curious.

This year I met with lots of new amazing colleagues turn into friends. I also celebrated 10 year friendship with my wonderful junior high school friends. But, I also lost contact with a couple of my old friends, which is so saddening. I tried to get a hold of them though. But I guess, as people grow and things get busier for each and everyone, it gets harder for you to actually meet with one another. We still keep up with each other through the internet tho.

What else? Ah! This year, instead of reading, I ended up watching too much movies and dramas more than I should/would. This year alone, I have watched: (1) Cheese in the Trap, (2) Descendants of the Sun, (3) Dear My Friends, (4), W-Two World's, (5) 1% of Anything, (6) Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo, and (7) Age of Youth. OMG, that's 7 full-length dramas. Ha! But I enjoyed every minute I spent watching the dramas. Might not say so in terms of the aftermath though. Haha.

In terms of love and relationship, well, I was single. And I am still single. Ha! Probably can explain the excessive out of romance drama that I watched this year. Too much daydreaming probably, lol.

Well, since I am typing this on my phone and not on the laptop. Let's end it here. It has been a year of ups and downs. And we'll see, I will probably be writing about my hopes for 2017 next. But for now, this is it.

It is the last day of 2016!
Let's kick it in!


Oo, and HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017!


Update: Turns out that I can not upload pictures from the Blogger apps on my Android. It kept on failing me so in the end of the day I still have to open my laptop ((my brother's computer in this case)) and hit the publish button from desktop. 

What a fuss because I also have to copy paste what I typed on phone to desktop and send the pictures. What I have thought would be a time-saver ended up wasting a lot of my time. Huff.

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

on the boy i could only meet in my dream

If we often talk in person or via chat, you might have heard about this story somewhere in between our conversation. So there was this guy, a perfect stranger, I must say.

I was strolling in a mall with my brother and our friends when we entered a clothing store. By that time, our president was famous for the bomber jacket he used during his speech after the demonstration. Right after that, people were gushing over his stylish look and rushing to find the same piece as his. We went to the clothing store for fun.

As I browsed through the clothes and jammed with the music, my eyes caught the eyes of this other beautiful human being who is so so charming. He is tall and thin and gorgeous. I still remember he was wearing a blue bomber jacket and t-shirt with long pants and sneakers. He carried a brown MCM backpack and he had his both his hands tucked inside his jacket's pockets. He has a pale skin and black short hair.

I talked to my girl friend and we both agreed that this guy is daym nice. If only I was by myself, I might act out a Korean drama scene and pretended that we wanted to take the same item. Or maybe I would pretend bumping into him like it was accidental, lol. But no.

Now with no any information of him or whatsoever, how am I supposed to know about his identity right? LOL. So he will forever remain as the charming guy I saw at this certain clothing store.

Of course my memory was not that top notch and I would not be able to remember his face oh so clearly. But, duh, daym gaze so fine i cannot.

Then I had a dream yesterday. My friends said that if you dreamed about it, then it would not happen. Or something in opposite would happen. But I can't help it! I just need to share about this dream, haha!

So, just as any dream, it is never clear where am I and what am I doing. But I am inside a room with white walls, it reminded me of a classroom. There were about 20 people inside, all wearing a white top with darker bottoms.

I was the new kid in that room, so I basically had zero idea what that is. Luckily I was also wearing white or else I would look so different. I stepped inside and the tutor there did a usual introductory for me and asked me to sit down.

Then there is this A5-sized textbook which happened to be a collection of poem written in 12pt serif script. The tutor then asked us to recite the poem. Of course I thought it would be the normal reading the poem out loud. But nope.

Everyone stood up!
And moved the tables aside!

I was like, what the hell?

And then music started playing, and everyone started moving and dancing! Like, seriously? OMG, how am I suppose to know any of the movement? But then, suddenly ((or more like I just realized)) there was a guy standing in front of me, so smoothly and readily helped me and guided me through the dance.

Of course I was ever so clumsy and bumped into everyone in the process. But he quietly guided me so I could avoid bumping more people. He was just there being amazing with his actions and his beautiful gaze. No words, no smiles or nothing.

It was that guy, the same guy I saw in the clothing store.

Or at least that's what I believed in my dream.

And like all dreams, it must come to one end, waking up. So long, my dreams. So long, my beautiful boy. If only I can figure out who you are in real life. I mean, if I can at least know who you are and adore you, it would be enough.


Guess who I saw two days later/?? It is that fckin guy! What the what? Whats going on? I actually saw that person again! And for real, not in my dream.

So a friend of mine just cancelled our plan to go to a mall that day. And so I decided to go by myself. As I strolled around wanted to take the escalator to go up, I looked down to the level below. And I realized that that bag looked familiar. So is that persons vibe and physical appearance, and hairstyle, and I am like 85% sure that it was him! Though I saw him from above so I could not really see his face.

He was by himself. Wearing a different jacket but still with similar navy color. He was wearing long black plants and grey shoes. He was on his gadget while he was also taking the escalator to the floor below.

I was stoned.
Ha, this might sound so dramatic. But I really could not think of anything for a few seconds.

Next thing I knew, I texted my friend in frenzy and tried to talk out the story coherently. My friend told me to chase him lol. And took a picture of him. Maybe, maybe a friend of our friend of our cousin of our colleague might know the identity of this fine human being.

So I went down and tried to look for him. But nope, nowhere to find. I was too late. Too busy with my thoughts. And too star-struck to even think of anything actually.

But this kind of strengthen my hypothesis which are:
1. He might live in Jakarta. At least he was not some kind of tourist or someone who lived out of the city and came here for holiday or work.
2. Sometimes dream do come true. Even if I shared this dream, turns out that what happened was not the opposite! I even got to see him again.

So yeah,
we'll see, if I can meet him again,
and actually know who he is?

I just want to know who this guy is.
That's it.

So, yeah.

Saturday, December 03, 2016

on normal days like this

There is nothing particularly sad or extremely wonderful that I want to share today. Today is just a normal day as usual. I feel good for myself, not that negative ((I have since passed my period for this month)) and not majorly positive either. 

If anything that is unusual today, that will be my schedule. I woke up a few minutes before the clock hit 6 o'clock. I got ready in just 30 minutes and ordered an online bike to go out. Even on my weekdays, I could not wake up this early. Haha.

People who knew me from my senior high school days might know me as an early riser. But those who knew me later on my university days would think of the opposite. Haha. 

Back in high school, I used to wake up at 5 o'clock. Got ready in just 30 minutes ((I think I am an expert in getting ready fast on weekdays and slow on weekends, lol)) and then went to school. My home is actually not that far from my school, but the traffic can be very annoying at times because the road is not that wide. So my father insisted I should come early. 

While the school started at 06.30 AM -- now that I think about it, it was very early -- I could have been in school at 05.40 or 05.50 AM the latest. The advantage is that I could buy some breakfast when they were still fresh. There is a nasi uduk or coconut rice that is really really delicious and cheap that sold out fast. So, going to the stall early can guarantee me a portion of this scrumptious nasi uduk.

I also became friends with the school janitors. Sometimes when I arrived, the classes are still locked, so I will wait for one of them to open the class. I also became friends with some of the street sellers and canteen owner because I bought their stuffs super early. Yep, it was really that quiet by the time I arrived to school. Haha.

But, if there was anything that really loved from going so early to school, is looking at the sky. One of my ongoing obsession is anything related to the sky and clouds. Be it the blue morning sky, orange-ish evening sunset, the beautiful golden hour, the starry night, I always love looking up and adoring the grand masterpiece of this universe.

Because my father was worried if I went to my class by myself that early, he always asked me to wait downstairs first until my friend came one by one. So I usually sat on the chair on the first floor of my high school and just saw the sky for 5 or 10 minutes. Back then, social media was not that big. I only used Blackberry Messenger and Twitter, I guess. Even Instagram was only available for iPhone user! haha.

So, watching the sky was a very very relaxing moment. But, let me tell you a SECRET! The sky is the most beautiful before 6 AM. The weather too! Even in the hot hot Jakarta, I could manage to get some chill early in the mornings. 

Ah, those beautiful mornings were definitely amazing memories to be treasured.

As I grew older, my schedule was not as strict as high school. In university year, the classes are super random and spread throughout the day. Instead of continuing the morning habit, I shifted to become a night owl.

Especially with my condition as a graphic design student, I tend to stay up late and slept at dawn. How could I even wake up at 5 AM, you tell me? Haha.

But today,

Today I woke up earlier than usual, collected all my energy and pulled my ass off the bedroom to get up. I had work to do at 7 AM and my house is a bit far from the workplace. As I rode a bike to my destination, it was already 06.40 AM, but the breeze still left me a bit of chill, and the sky was still so pretty.

I haven't seen such beautiful sky for quite some times. But seeing the layers of fluffy white clouds upon the clear blue sky, I felt so blissful. I felt happy, just because of the beautiful sky. I kept on looking up and I just can't help it but felt so grateful to be able to live, to be able to breathe in a good air, star such a wonderful sky and feel so alive again.

It is such a small thing in life for some, but for me, it is such a mood booster. I tried to take some pictures, but I can only secure this one while on the red light. It is much more beautiful in real life! This one is unfiltered anyway, because, I chose not to. 

By the afternoon, I got a bit sleepy. I had just slept for 5 hours after all. But when I thought about how amazing the sky was this morning, I didn't regret waking up that early. Also, there are free coffee that I happily sipped in.

Ah, as always, my writing always ended up being longer than I planned. I just wanted to talk about the sky this morning but ended up being nostalgic about the past, haha.

Does this motivate me to wake up earlier in near future? 

Honestly, I don't think so. haha. But if I ever had a bad day and need to cure it, maybe I can force myself to wake up earlier in the morning and go out and just feel the air and see the sky. 

Do you have the same obsession with sky like me? :)

P,s, Yes, the 'flying' from 'flyingfili' also came from the same obsession. My wish is to be able to fly and touch the sky for real.