Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Staying is Hard, But You Can Stay Positive

Talk about the expert of submitting a project on the due date ((even a few hours late...)). Oh yay, I am talking about myself, lol. I know, I know, not something that I should be proud of. So, what project? It's called The Blog Project, the one that I have talked about in my previous post.

I first knew about this project from Living Loving, a blog that I have long adored and got a chance to work with previously. They launched this project together with Lucedale and Beradadisini, both blogs that I have equally loved. 

I have been a long time follower of Claradevi though. From her longer hair days with vintage flowery clothing with the blog named under Sunflare Plethora. Even though her style has evolved over the years, but her writing is still as beautiful as ever. On the other hand, for Beradadisini, honestly I just knew her blog for a few months. But man, why didn't I know it sooner? Her words are amaaaaziiiing and her tips on writing is always inspiring. 

So, back to the project, I was super duper excited! Why wouldn't I? I mean, it is a great motivation to at least write once a month. With this project, I might be able to connect with fellow bloggers who are like-minded. I also got to challenge myself to write about a specific topic, which is supposed to be easier.

But, it turns out not to be that easy.

When I first saw the monthly theme for February, I was like "Oh, okay, stay, nice, I think I can come up with something,"

But, nope.

This one word haunted me every now and then. When I brushed my teeth, when I filled my water bottle, when I shredded some chicken, when I waited for TransJakarta, when I washed the dishes... You would think that I am exaggerating, but I am not. Even if I did not feel like it, I kept on thinking this stay word.

What kind of stay?
What kind of stay can I comfortably talk about in my post?

Stay young
Stay awesome
Stay positive
Stay productive
Staying in a place
Staying true to yourself
Staying passionate
or even the song Stay with Me?

I don't know, there's just so much stay going around that I do not really know what I should write. This is partly the reason why it took me so long to finally write again. I have really wanted to write 52 FACE progress but I can't seem to focus before I publish something for The Blog Project. I mean, I just do not want to miss it, really.

Now, since my mind can't agree on what to write, and since my sanity can't let me miss this project and since my mind has been bugged with this word every so often, I think it is best to just quote something from the site.

'They said leaving is easy. It's staying that's hard. What do you have to say about it?'

Rather than saying that, I would say,
"Leaving is easy. It's for the person who stayed that's hard."

You might have known a thing or two about my situation. It's not that I am saying that my parents are leaving easily. But it might get easier for them. They have struggled so much in this life, and everyday I am sincerely praying that things will be ten millions better for them, wherever they might be.

But for the person who stayed, it's hard.

It's hard, waking up in the morning and being hit with the realization
It's hard, going to sleep every night and having to accept the situation
It's hard, because you can never hear their voices again
It's hard, because you would never know how they look like when they get older
It's hard, because you realize that they are all now memories

Do you know what's even harder?

Because no one gets to choose.
Do I choose to stay? Do they choose to leave?

No, because when it comes to life and death, you do not get the privilege to choose.

But then again, just because it's hard, doesn't mean that it can't be done. If I can not choose between life or death, I can at least choose what to do, now that I get to stay. I realize that I have the privilege to to grow stronger and to be more independent.

I can choose to leave as well or maybe runaway and live recklessly. But I have chosen to stay, and not just a mere stay, but stay positive. It is not an easy feat, and just like what it said, it's staying that's hard. 

It takes a lot of practice, a lot of mindfulness and a lot of effort to control your own emotion. I do not always succeed everyday. There are many moments when I tumbled and fell and became negative. But practice do make perfect. And staying positive is one of them. 

There are many things that are hard, but practicing to stay positive can be very simple, if you want to simplify it.

You know,

It's as simple as telling your mind every day that it's going to be a good day
It's as simple as smiling to a stranger, remember, smiling is contagious
It's as simple as eating a fluffy donut with your favorite chocolate filling
It's as simple as going to a bus station and not having to wait too long and getting a seat
It's as simple as listening to a new song release from your favorite artists
It's as simple as watching the videos of cute puppies even if you don't like them in real life
It's as simple as having a heartfelt conversation with your friends
It's as simple as finishing a project you have been working on
It's as simple as trying new stuffs and gaining new knowledge
It's as simple as being grateful for every beautiful thing that has happened that day
It's as simple as realizing that your life is perfect, even with all those imperfections
It's as simple as believing in yourself and knowing that you are capable of so many things

So, even if no one is leaving you behind, you can still choose to stay positive. Try to focus on the good things in life and try your best to let go of the negatives. I know what I have written might not seem as simple as what it is. Because I have been there. But, you will never know if you never try.


P.s. When I said the song "Stay with Me", are you reminded of the English version by Sam Smith or the Korean version by Chanyeol and Punch? Haha!

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