things in life that i do not understand

I'm just so sad and so mad and so done with myself and everything. It saddens me how the pressure is winning on me.

It saddens me when I seek for help from someone else, they do not understand.

It saddens me that when I speak to people, they expect me to be the usual cheerful me.

So, I was like okay, I'm good at play pretend.

I mean like how do you expect me to be the usual cheerful me when I even doubt myself.

Like, do you think my life only has its ups?

Then I realize that if I can not understand myself either, how could I expect people to understand me?

Then I guess the problem is within me myself. I'm just upset that no one seems to understand.

That no one seems to care. No one seem to speak the right thing. No one seem to lend a hand.
Just people expecting me to be okay.

Just people expecting me to be okay.

When I am not.

A collection of tweets during my mental breakdown. March 13th, 2016